CELPIP® Writing Task 2 sample: Employee Health Benefits Survey

Level 7 sample answer

164 words

I prefer Option B, adding $750 a year for physiotherapy and massage therapy.

In our company, many people do physical work. Drivers sit for long hours, and warehouse staff lift boxes all day. I work in the warehouse, and by Friday my shoulders and lower back are often very stiff. My doctor told me to see a physiotherapist, but one visit costs about $100, so I only went two times and then I stopped. With $750, I could go regularly and feel better at work.

This benefit can help the company too. When workers feel good, they work faster and they take less sick days. I think the owners will also save money in the long time.

Dental care is important too, and I understand that families with kids need more than $1,000. But most of us already have some dental coverage, and we have nothing for physio or massage.

For these reasons, I think Option B is the better choice for our workers.

Why this answer is at level 7

This level 7 answer gives a clear preference, a relevant personal example, and a sensible comparison with existing dental coverage. Compared with the stronger answers, its business argument is less developed, its vocabulary is simpler, and some expressions are awkward.

• My doctor told me to see a physiotherapist, but one visit costs about $100, — Content/Coherence: The medical recommendation and session cost explain why the writer stopped treatment. A higher-level answer would connect this personal difficulty more fully to coworkers' needs and explain why filling this coverage gap deserves priority.
• With $750, I could go regularly and feel better at work. — Vocabulary: The meaning is clear, but "go regularly" and "feel better" describe the benefit broadly. A higher-level answer would use more precise language about attending treatment, managing stiffness, or maintaining physical function at work.
• I think the owners will also save money in the long time. — Readability: The intended meaning is understandable, but "in the long time" is awkward; "in the long run" would be natural. The stronger answers express projected benefits with better grammatical and idiomatic control.
• But most of us already have some dental coverage, and we have nothing for physio or massage. — Task Fulfillment: This directly compares the options using the current plan and supports the choice clearly. A higher-level answer would weigh the value of new treatment access against the specific financial pressures facing families needing more dental coverage.

Level 9 sample answer

197 words

I'd choose Option A and raise the dental maximum to $2,000 per person.

For employees with families, the current $1,000 limit runs out surprisingly fast. My daughter, who is eleven, needed two fillings and a set of X-rays this spring, and that alone used up almost her whole allowance by May. Her dentist has mentioned that she may need braces, which would cost several thousand dollars. Doubling the maximum wouldn't cover everything, but it would make a huge difference to our budget.

Dental problems also tend to get worse and more expensive when people put off treatment. A coworker of mine in dispatch skipped a recommended crown last year because he had already hit his limit, and by the fall the tooth needed a root canal as well. A higher maximum would encourage people to deal with issues early rather than wait until they become painful.

That said, I can see why the drivers and warehouse crew are keen on physiotherapy, since their jobs are hard on the body. Still, dental care affects everyone, from office staff to drivers to their children, so I believe Option A would benefit the greatest number of people at Thompson Bend.

Why this answer is at level 9

This level 9 answer develops its dental preference through detailed family and coworker examples, with clear organization and controlled sentences. Compared with level 7, its reasoning is fuller; compared with level 11, its final claim about benefiting the greatest number is less convincingly established.

• A coworker of mine in dispatch skipped a recommended crown last year because he had already hit his limit, — Content/Coherence: The coworker's experience develops a separate argument about delayed treatment, extending the response beyond the writer's family. A higher-level answer would use this example to establish more explicitly why dental delays should take priority over untreated physical strain.
• Doubling the maximum wouldn't cover everything, but it would make a huge difference to our budget. — Vocabulary: The financial language is natural, and the concession avoids overstating what the increase would cover. However, "a huge difference" remains broad; a higher-level answer would describe the practical financial relief more precisely.
• My daughter, who is eleven, needed two fillings and a set of X-rays this spring, — Readability: The relative clause adds family context smoothly, while the treatment details remain easy to follow. A higher-level answer would maintain this sentence control while selecting details more economically to leave room for a sharper comparison between the benefits.
• so I believe Option A would benefit the greatest number of people at Thompson Bend. — Task Fulfillment: The conclusion answers the survey directly, but broad eligibility does not establish how many people would use the increased maximum. A higher-level answer would distinguish access to dental coverage from the additional benefit employees would receive.

Level 11 sample answer

196 words

I'd encourage the company to choose Option B and add $750 a year for physiotherapy and massage therapy.

Unlike dental care, which has some coverage under our current plan, these services receive nothing at all, so the improvement would be felt immediately. Consider the drivers on our Prince George and Calgary runs, who routinely spend ten hours behind the wheel. Several of them have told me they live with chronic neck and hip stiffness but can't justify paying $110 out of pocket for each session. Were these treatments covered, they would be more likely to address minor aches before they turned into extended absences.

There's also a strong business case. Warehouse work during our November rush is relentless, and when even two people are off, the rest of the crew ends up working overtime, which costs the company far more than a modest benefit would.

Admittedly, $2,000 in dental coverage would be welcome for parents facing orthodontic bills. However, braces involve a single course of treatment that only some families face, whereas strain from repetitive physical work is something most of us deal with daily. Option B would therefore deliver the broadest and most lasting benefit.

Why this answer is at level 11

This level 11 answer combines a clear coverage-gap argument with specific workplace examples and consequences for staffing. Its precise vocabulary, varied sentence structures, and sustained comparison make the recommendation more persuasive than the other answers, although the claimed savings and broadest benefit remain predictions.

• when even two people are off, the rest of the crew ends up working overtime, — Content/Coherence: This supplies a concrete link between employee health and company operations. Compared with level 7's general claim about saving money, the staffing example makes the proposed business benefit easier to understand, though it does not establish the size of any savings.
• can't justify paying $110 out of pocket for each session. — Vocabulary: The idiomatic financial language explains the drivers' reluctance to seek treatment clearly and economically. Together with the specific session cost, it gives the coverage-gap argument a practical human consequence.
• Were these treatments covered, they would be more likely to address minor aches before they turned into extended absences. — Readability: The inverted conditional is controlled and easy to follow. It connects coverage, earlier treatment, and possible workplace consequences within a single sentence, expressing the expected outcome as a likelihood.
• Unlike dental care, which has some coverage under our current plan, these services receive nothing at all, — Task Fulfillment: The opening comparison focuses directly on what the proposed improvement would add to the existing plan. This establishes a clear basis for choosing physiotherapy and massage before the response develops its employee and company benefits.