CELPIP Writing Samples: Levels 7, 9 & 11

Dear Mr. Obi,

I am writing about the bookkeeping course that I am taking on Tuesday and Thursday evening. I got the email that the class will move to Saturday mornings, and I am worried because this change does not work for me.

I work every Saturday from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. at a grocery store, and I cannot change this shift. My manager told me that weekends is the busiest days. So I cannot come to class from 9 to 1.

If I withdraw now, I will get my $640 back, but I will lose three weeks of study. Also, I need the certificate for a job I want to apply for in the spring. If I wait for the next course, I will miss that chance.

Could the college let me finish the course online? Maybe I can watch recordings of the Saturday classes and send my assignments by email. I would be happy to do the same tests like other students.

Thank you for your help. I hope to hear from you before the refund deadline on Friday.

Sincerely,

Carmen Delgado

What makes the difference: Clear reasons and a workable request; agreement errors such as “weekends is” limit control.

Dear Mr. Obi,

I recently received the college's notice that the evening bookkeeping course will move to Saturday mornings because of low enrolment. I understand the reasons behind the decision, but unfortunately the new schedule leaves me in a difficult position.

The main problem is that I work a fixed Saturday shift from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., which was the reason I chose an evening class in the first place. I asked my supervisor whether I could switch days, but with two staff members already on leave, that isn't possible this term.

Withdrawing would mean more than losing three weeks of progress. I'm applying for an accounts assistant position in the spring, and this certificate is a key requirement. The next offering doesn't start until September, so a refund would cost me the opportunity altogether.

Would it be possible for me to complete the remaining sessions through recorded lectures, with assignments submitted online? I'd be glad to write the final exam on campus whenever it suits the instructor.

I would appreciate a reply before Friday's refund deadline so I can make the right choice.

Sincerely,

Carmen Delgado

What makes the difference: Each paragraph develops a distinct point, and the work conflict leads logically to a specific remote-study request.

Dear Mr. Obi,

I am writing in response to Monday's announcement that the evening bookkeeping course will be moved to Saturday mornings. While I appreciate that the college could hardly run a section with so few registrants, the change puts me in a genuine bind.

I chose the Tuesday and Thursday sessions precisely because I work a fixed Saturday shift from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Had the course been advertised as a weekend class, I would never have enrolled. My employer cannot accommodate a schedule change mid-season, so attending from nine to one is out of the question.

Accepting the refund before Friday would recover my $640, yet it would cost me far more. I intend to apply for an accounts assistant role this spring, for which this certificate is a stated requirement, and the next intake does not begin until September.

I would therefore propose that I complete the remaining modules remotely, using recordings of the Saturday sessions and submitting assignments through the course portal. I would, of course, sit the final exam in person on whichever date the instructor prefers.

Thank you for considering this request.

Sincerely,

Carmen Delgado

What makes the difference: The conditional “Had the course been advertised…” connects precise detail with controlled complex grammar and a tactful proposal.

Hi Gabriel,

I am writing about our presentation for business communication class. It is on Monday at 9 a.m., and it is worth 25% of our final mark, so I am a bit worried.

At our first meeting, you agreed to make the slides about the market research. We still don't have them. You also missed the last two meetings, and you didn't answer our messages since Wednesday. Is everything OK?

Because of this, Xin and I can't finish our parts. My section about the survey results need your data, and Xin can't practise the conclusion without it. Xin wants to talk to the instructor, but I asked her to wait a little.

Here is my idea. Please send me your slides by Saturday at 6 p.m., even if they are not perfect. Then we can meet on Sunday afternoon at the library to put everything together and practise one time.

Please reply soon, so we know you are still in the group.

Thanks,

Dmitri

What makes the difference: The email covers the missing work, impact and deadline, but tense and agreement slips interrupt the flow.

Hi Gabriel,

I'm getting in touch about our business communication presentation, which is now only a few days away. Since it's worth 25% of our final mark, I wanted to check in with you directly before Monday morning.

When we divided the work, you offered to handle the market research slides, including the competitor comparison and the customer survey charts. So far, nothing has been uploaded to our shared folder, and we haven't heard from you since Wednesday, which isn't like you.

To be honest, Xin and I are starting to feel the pressure. My section builds on your survey findings, so I'm stuck until I see them, and Xin can't rehearse her conclusion without the full picture. She'd like to let the instructor know what's happening, but I've asked her to hold off until the weekend.

Could you send whatever you have by Saturday at 6 p.m., even if it's rough? We could then meet at the campus library on Sunday at 2 p.m. to polish everything and run through the presentation together.

Let me know either way so we can plan.

Cheers,

Dmitri

What makes the difference: Specific dependencies explain the pressure, while a direct question and a clear meeting plan make the request useful.

Hi Gabriel,

With our business communication presentation set for Monday at 9 a.m., I thought it was worth reaching out before the weekend. I know things can pile up at this point in the term, so please read this as a nudge rather than a complaint.

When we split the work two weeks ago, you took on the market research section: the competitor comparison, the survey charts and the three slides summarizing local demand. None of that has reached the shared folder yet, and since you missed Tuesday's and Thursday's meetings, Xin and I have been left guessing.

Frankly, we're both running out of runway. My analysis hinges on your survey data, and Xin can hardly rehearse a conclusion for findings she hasn't seen. She was ready to contact the instructor yesterday; I talked her into waiting, partly because I'd rather we sorted this out among ourselves.

Here's what I'd suggest: send whatever you have by Saturday at 6 p.m., however rough, and then the three of us can meet at the campus library on Sunday at 2 p.m. to polish the slides and do a full run-through.

Even a quick reply would ease our minds.

Thanks,

Dmitri

What makes the difference: The opening softens the complaint, precise detail sustains the argument, and varied sentences keep a consistent peer-to-peer tone.

I think the centre should keep the Frost Fair as one big festival in February.

First, the Frost Fair is a tradition in our neighbourhood. My family goes every year since we moved here, and my kids talk about the fireworks for weeks after. If the centre change it to small events, I think it will not feel special anymore. People will maybe skip a plant swap, but they don't want to miss a big festival.

Also, February is a hard month in London. It is cold and dark, and many people stay inside all the time. A big event gives everyone a reason to go out and meet their neighbours. In summer there are already many things to do, so we don't need more events then.

I know the lineups are long and the weather can be bad. But the centre can fix this with more food trucks and a heated tent. They can pay for this by spending less on fireworks.

So my choice is Option A. One big festival brings the community together better than four small ones.

What makes the difference: A clear preference has supporting examples, though agreement and tense errors weaken readability.

I would vote for Option B, dividing the budget among four smaller events held in different seasons.

My main reason is that the centre should not put all its eggs in one basket. Two winters ago, freezing rain hit on the morning of the Frost Fair, the fireworks were cancelled, and half the vendors packed up by noon. With four events, a single bad forecast would not wipe out the centre's entire investment.

Smaller gatherings would also reach residents who rarely come out in February. My neighbour Layla uses a walker and avoids icy sidewalks, so she has never attended the fair. However, she would happily bring her seedlings to a spring plant swap or help serve pie at a fall harvest supper. Events like these give quieter people a chance to get involved rather than just stand in a crowd.

Admittedly, the Frost Fair has a special atmosphere, and some families will miss the fireworks. Still, four well-planned events would keep the community centre busy all year and build connections that last longer than one afternoon. For these reasons, I believe Option B is the smarter use of $24,000.

What makes the difference: The weather risk and accessibility example develop separate reasons, and a concession acknowledges the other option.

Although I have fond memories of the Frost Fair, I would choose Option B and spread the $24,000 across four seasonal events.

The festival's greatest strength is also its weakness: everything depends on a single day in February. When the temperature dropped to minus 20°C a few years ago, the crowd thinned to a few hundred, yet the centre had already paid for the stage, the rink lighting and the fireworks. Had that money been divided among several events, one disappointing afternoon would have been a minor setback rather than the loss of an entire year's programming.

Smaller events would also suit the way people actually volunteer. Garrett, who coordinates our street's snow-shovelling schedule, told me he gave up helping at the fair because the setup required forty people working twelve-hour shifts. A plant swap or harvest supper, by contrast, could be run by a dozen residents, which means newcomers could take on manageable roles and gradually build ties with their neighbours.

I realize that a festival of 3,000 people has a buzz no potluck can match. Nevertheless, a community is sustained by regular contact, not one spectacular day, which is why Option B gets my vote.

What makes the difference: Detailed consequences, a controlled conditional and a volunteer example develop a sustained argument rather than a list of claims.

I think the food bank should choose Option A, the regular weekly shift.

The main reason is that the food bank needs people it can count on. Last winter I came for a Saturday shift and only four of ten volunteers was there. We packed hampers until late and some families had to wait for their food. If everyone has a fixed shift, this problem will be much smaller.

Also, a regular team works better. When you see the same people every week, you learn the job fast and you become friends. My friend Hodan and I always sign up for Tuesday together, so now we know where everything goes and we finish faster than new people.

Of course, some volunteers are students or work changing shifts, and three months is hard for them. Maybe the food bank can keep a few open spots for these people. But most of the work should be done by a steady group.

For these reasons, I choose Option A. It's better for the staff, the volunteers and the families.

What makes the difference: Relevant examples support a clear choice, but errors such as “volunteers was” show uneven grammatical control.

Speaking as someone who has volunteered at Larchwood for two years, I would choose Option B: keeping online sign-up while adding an orientation and a stricter cancellation rule.

Flexibility is the main reason so many people help out. Plenty of volunteers in Grande Prairie work rotations in the oil patch or at the hospital, and their schedules change from month to month. My friend Logan, for example, works two weeks on and one week off, so he could never promise the same Thursday for three months. Under Option A, the food bank would lose people like him, and that is a high price to pay when donations peak in December.

At the same time, the current system needs more structure. A required two-hour orientation would mean that no one arrives on their first shift without knowing how to check expiry dates or build a hamper, which would save staff countless hours. The 24-hour cancellation rule would also make volunteers think twice before booking a shift casually.

I admit that a fixed team would be more predictable. Still, I believe Option B offers the best balance between reliability and keeping the door open to busy people.

What makes the difference: The shift-work example explains flexibility, and the orientation and cancellation details connect the choice to staff workload.

Having packed hampers at Larchwood most Saturdays since 2023, I would urge the board to adopt Option A and ask volunteers to commit to a weekly shift for three months.

The open sign-up system has been generous to volunteers but unfair to everyone else. Last January, when temperatures hovered around minus 35°C, eleven of the eighteen people booked for one Saturday cancelled that morning, and the remaining few didn't lock the doors until well after dark. A fixed roster would not prevent every absence, but people who know their teammates are counting on them are less likely to cancel without a serious reason.

A committed team would also make better use of the staff's limited time. Instead of re-explaining the sorting system to a stream of first-timers, the two coordinators could train a core group and then delegate. Aoife, our unofficial Saturday lead, already shows newer volunteers how to spot dented cans and balance a hamper, which is exactly the sort of expertise that only develops through repetition.

Granted, shift workers may find a three-month promise unrealistic. Even so, a dependable team is what keeps the shelves stocked, which is why Option A is the wiser choice.

What makes the difference: A detailed account supports reliability, a second paragraph develops staff efficiency, and a concession keeps the argument balanced.